How kundalini energy, spiritual awakening & the birth of my son helped reclaim my voice & purpose and why it matters if you’re a spiritual being who agreed to come to Earth at this time!
If you’re ready to meet the deepest YOU – I’m glad you’re here.
You have a contribution to make, but subtle layers of fear still masquerade as truth.
Over the past few years, I’ve witnessed a movement. Spiritual seekers, alchemists and healers are being called, awakened and mobilized… To transform culture. Sow seeds of connection. Love what’s been forgotten. Shine the light into the darkness.
For too long now, old hurts, fears and pain have been running the show… Keeping us disconnected from our deepest self, our body, our community, and the presence – the Being that always is.
But a deeper knowing continues to emerge through us.
We are here to alter the course of humanity. As many have said before, it begins within.
You probably feel it calling to you most hours of the day. But how do you bring your deepest spiritual realizations into the world effectively and powerfully… So they’re not just fleeting moments of truth, but the building blocks of a brand new world?
We must encounter what I call the awakening of the Heart.
Are you ready?
Isolation in the motherland…
I was born in the Soviet Union, known as the motherland. Ironically at that time, Soviet babies were torn from their mothers. While many children around the world were being held, loved and nurtured… I took my first breaths in isolation.
Growing up in the Soviet Union, it’s very unlikely to hear “I love you” from your mom or siblings. I was sent away for months in the summer to a sleep-away camp, already feeling so disconnected.
One day, a counsellor humiliated me in front of my entire cabin – I asked for something I needed and was denied in a soul-crushing way that caused me much pain and embarrassment.
In that moment, I lost my voice. And it remained lost for many years.
Searching for love in all the wrong places…
We left USSR for Israel in 1990
When I was 14, I met Jesus. When I read Christ’s teachings the yearning in my heart was filled. “He speaks my language and understands my heart!” I thought. It was my first contact with divine Presence and Love.
As my family and I continued to move around the world, I wholeheartedly sought to deepen this experience of love through church. I soon learned the container of religion couldn’t hold the depth of truth I longed for.
Disappointed, I turned to what many seekers of truth eventually find…
Drugs. Parties. Ecstasy. Late nights, philosophical musings… bonding and belonging like I never dreamed possible.
I remember layers of trauma, fear and pain releasing, feeling the freedom flowing through my body. I could just BE with others. I felt a rush of connection and love.
After a few years of this, I got severely burned out, really sick and suffered immensely. On my 27th birthday, I got sober and dedicated myself to yoga & meditation with the ferocity of a woman hungry for nothing less than the whole Truth.
The first awakening… Remembering who am I
Two weeks into my meditation practice I had a spontaneous Kundalini awakening. My whole body shook, I’ve experienced intense fear, and infinite spaciousness, the void. I finally felt what I’d always longed for – HOME. The deepest sense of connection imaginable. Beyond connection even. My whole sense of identity vanished. So much energy was unleashed and so much fear. It was surreal.
I wanted human support and guidance to understand what was happening to me. “Stop meditating!” everyone would say. I couldn’t, the urge was too strong. I became a devotee of this energy instead.
I experienced her as Kali, the Mother, chopping everything that was unreal out of my experience. It was chaotic and beautiful. My soul eventually drew me to Arunachala & Ramana Maharishi’s ashram in India to deepen my realization. By grace, the Real was established and life continued but this time without a center, without separation.
This was tremendous freedom but subtle fears were still controlling my behaviour. I couldn’t speak my truth, speak in public or express myself. There was so much I wanted to share.
But I was frozen at 6, the child in the sleep-away camp.
The second awakening of the heart… Human divinity.
The first awakening was effortless. It was just intense longing and practice. People would come to my house and sit with me in presence, it was periods of deep Samadhi for a while.
But I was having trouble relating at a human, personal level.
“How does Spirit move in this world; how does it relate”?
Just Spirit and no human heart is a dry eternity untouched by the world, a great escape! I loved Life, I begged for the fully embodied state.
Everything came full circle for me the moment I had my second son. It was a homebirth and it was totally ecstatic. The midwife showed up after our son was halfway out, it was just my partner and I welcoming him into the world.
Kundalini goes up and it can be very disengaging from life. Embodiment comes back down bringing that life-force or Spirit back in. As my son was born, embodiment began to unfold. The awakening was no longer disconnected from life and others.
Entering the human realm it illumines all the conditioned, unconscious stories. This is what I call the second awakening, or awakening of the heart. Awakening out of the emotional traumas and core belief in deficiency.
And that’s what I’m inviting you to do with my support, if you’re ready…
I didn’t want to teach presence, just like a part of you resists your calling too. But the world is waiting for people like us to rise up, then back down, into our voice, power and gift.
Even though I could feel the pull of life asking me to share the invitation to Being and freedom from trauma with others… I continued to hide behind my camera lens and laptop as a photographer and graphic designer for seven years.
I could no longer bare the inaction. The “unlovable me” story continued to immobilize me. So I asked life to give me a sign and make the first move.
One day my friend a well-known meditation teacher in my town called me, asking me to teach his class. The fear of speaking in front of others crept in. “He’s been teaching 20 years! He has so many students, he’s so wise! There’s no way…”
At that moment it was absolutely clear that either I will always be playing small or now and forever I must say a big bold YES to Life!
Even though it felt like I was drowning in fear.
I showed up.
Weekly meditations and meetings started.
Monthly workshops & webinars.
Then I got invited to speak on a Summit.
Coaching clients started coming in.
My fears subsided and my purpose birthed itself…
Presence Alchemy was born.
MY INVITATION TO YOU!
Presence Alchemy is a container for spiritual, visionary, empathic, and gifted individuals to move through fear and into the world more fully with their gifts, recognizing their true unwounded, unlimited nature.
If you know you can no longer wait to do this, and you also want to…
Then let’s connect one on one.
Yours In Truth,